my pledge as a parent

we are going to bring our sons up as gentlemen not just any men,
but we won’t expect them to be perfect.
and we are going to let them know that that is okay.

we are going to tell our sons to care for others
but not to care too much of what people will think of them
as long as they know they are doing their best.

we are going to tell them to live for themselves
and not for anyone else.
People can talk,
but they don’t know our life,
why worry so much about what they will say?

The very people whose opinions you are afraid of,
Those people are not perfect themselves.
Why take what they say so seriously?
Why be afraid of people’s judgement?
They don’t deserve to judge you.

The important thing is to be morally upright
what other people think of you, does not matter.
Because heaven will be in our heart when we do what our conscience tells us to,
Because hell will reside in our every breath if we do otherwise.

we are going to teach our sons to show respect
but we are not going to expect them to kow-tow to us
we are confident that we can raise children who respect us
and thus, they don’t need to show us in EVERY WAY that they respect us.
We just know, and that in itself, is enough.

To ask someone to show respect to you,
just shows you are not confident enough
that you can earn respect from others.
Worst still if you force people to show you respect.
Doesn’t that say it all?

we are going to teach our sons that men and women are equal
that parents and children are best friends
not authoritarians and oppressed citizens.

we are going to teach our sons that every opinion is worth listening to.
that many times, we have to step in other people’s shoes.
that the world, doesn’t only revolve around us.

we are going to teach our sons that as long as we are willing to adapt,
other people will be willing to adapt to us too.
but if we stand firm, being unreasonably stubborn, not wanting to understand others,
we are not going to get what we want.

we are going to tell our sons that mistakes can happen with anybody
and no matter what. no matter what. we know that our sons love us.
so they shouldn’t be afraid to confide in us.
we are going to make them know that we can accept them, no matter what.

There is not going to be any hard and fast rule in this family.
There is going to be understanding and flexibility.
There is going to be discussions and not lectures.

This family is a 2-way dialogue. Not a one-way lecture.
Parents are ready to listen to the children.
Children are ready to listen to the parents.

We are going to give encouragement to them,
never going to force.
We are going to ask them of certain things,
never going to beg.

After all, our sons are rightfully their own individuals,
they are not us. Why rule their lives?

Do our best.
And whatever makes them happy, let them be.

I am not going to be happy if my children are not happy.

I don’t understand why some parents are happy ruining their children’s lives by NOT LISTENING. and by being SELFISH.

There are far too many parents who have caused their own flesh and blood to commit suicide. Forcing their children into a certain career field, forcing them into a certain marriage, blaming them for certain mishaps, etc. The children in turn, takes their own lives because of their “inability” to please the parents that they so very much love but never understands them.

Some parents regret. Some still have very high ego and never admitted it was due to their faulty parenting.

In fact, it wasn’t the child that has the “inability to please”, but it’s rather the parents that has the “inability to understand” their children.

well, i have been saying “we” but i haven’t actually discussed this with my husband =p hehe…. but i am quite positive he will agree with 80% of it =)


About Lili

Lili is a wife and a mum to 3 boys. An aspiring writer. Adores creativity, art and beautiful creations. Dog lover. Gentle-parenting follower. Follow her parenting journey at where she writes about family happiness and how to stay connected to our spouse and kids.
This entry was posted in Edward, Oliver, Parenting Insights and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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