The perils of comparison

– make kids feel inadequate
– encourages competitiveness (too much causing either vanity or bitterness)
– affects them till adulthood


In anger or with pleasure, whatever you want to tell this child can be said directly, without any reference to his brother. The keyword is describe.

Describe what you see
I see a brand new jacket on the floor

Describe how you feel
that bothers me

Describe what needs to be done
this jacket belongs in the closet

The important thing is to stick with the issue of this child’s behaviour. Nothing his brother is or isn’t doing has anything to do with him.

“It’s a good idea to save our enthusiastic comments for the ear of the deserving child”

Siblings without rivalry by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

About Lili

Lili is a wife and a mum to 3 boys. Follow her parenting journey at where she writes about family happiness and how to stay connected to our spouse and kids. Additionally, she's passionate in helping kids achieve financial literacy at
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